What would you do with an extra 4 hours and 40 minutes each day?
That's how long we are spending each day doing breathing treatments and CPT with the vest for Izzy. It is time that Izzy is stuck to a machine with her face covered by a mask. Normally, I put on one of her preschool shows like Sesame Street, Dora or Barney. Sometimes we do puzzles or read or dress her baby dolls but I can't help thinking about all that time just gone towards trying to keep her well.
A fight that we are going to lose. A fight I see other families losing everyday.
I wish we could spend those four hours at the zoo, or at the library. I wish I could spend those four hours pushing Izzy on the swing or catching her at the bottom of the slide. But I can't because I am fighting for more healthy time with Izzy. It's ironic really that to get more time with my daughter I have to sacrifice so much time now. So tonight when I get her up at midnight to do a treatment and at 6 AM when I wake her again to do another treatment, I will try to focus on the time these treatments will help us have in the future. Hopefully time for me to see her go to her first day of school, time where I can teach her to ride a bike, time where I can help her pick out an outfit for her first date, time where I encourage her to learn to drive a car, time in which I can watch her grow and meet her goals and not be stuck in a hospital bed fighting for her next breath.
We have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning at 9 AM. Wish us high oxygen saturation numbers somewhere above 96% would be wonderful!
Hold your little ones close and never take your moments together for granted.
1 comment:
Congrats on the 97%! And that "inactive" time you spend with her during treatments is still TIME - more time than (dare I say) most mothers spend with their kids. And it is entertaining her and making her so smart, too!
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